it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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