WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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