I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
