were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
