a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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