is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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