OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
