just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
