absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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