I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
