I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
