how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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