you didnt know i had herpes?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
