I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The power of my boobs compel you
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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