how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
