would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
