she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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