I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
