Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
