moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So vagazzling was a success
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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