i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
