Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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