Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
