i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize