I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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