Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
