y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
