is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
