Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
