capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
