I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
