you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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