It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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