we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
