im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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