I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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