She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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