Jerry, you need to find god
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
