Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
