There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
