she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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