I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
