I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Alive.
So much puke
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
