So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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