That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
