Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
and she was petting her beer can
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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