Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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