i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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