you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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