Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
