My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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