The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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