I'm going to jail i love you
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
