let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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