she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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