I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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