We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
