So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
