I want to stick my p in your. b.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
